|
Friday, October 06, 2006
|
|
Well, hell.
|
We didn't get to keep this one either. I was actually not terribly surprised as it was a suspicion the entire time, hence the psychotic denial post that I'm still kind of giggling about. This one was definitely easier emotionally on all involved and I can only assume it's because it seemed so unlikely to begin with. Naturally I have to deal with putting my closet back to rights but because we only told a few people and then swore them to secrecy in a dark and primal ceremony we didn't have to un-tell on the scale we did last time and that's better for me. I can only hope that it works out next time with the aid of some drugs and a better doctor (I'll get to that in a minute) and that it will feel like a more normal occurrence. The spouse and I have discussed at length how far we want to let all this go and have come to the agreement that we will give it a few more shots. If things keep ending in the same manner we are going to assume that God only meant for us to have one child and go merrily on our way. It isn't reasonable to for us to continue to try if the result is going to be the same. I don't think such a thing is healthy emotionally or physically. Even if we were to develop some sort of immunity to the disappointment I wouldn't continue because I think that such an immunity would diminish us as human beings and demean and trivialize the entire point of the process. I'm of the mind that life is precious in all it's forms and I refuse to buy into the nonsensical idea that life doesn't begin at conception. If it's acceptable for a mommy that wants a baby to consider it a baby from conception than it's ridiculous to term it otherwise when the mommy doesn't want a baby. But that's another topic. Sort of.
My current OB doesn't seem to see a problem with this continuing indefinitely. She is apparently unconcerned about any ill effects this may be having on my psyche, my husband's psyche or our lives in general. She doesn't seem to really care that I'm of the opinion that we should maybe double check things to make sure that our current diagnosis is correct and perhaps exploring the idea that there may be more that we can do. I know that being of the scientific community makes her believe that there should be no attachment formed to any pregnancy that ends before 8 weeks as hey, it's just a blob of tissue, a bunch of cells and so forth, so why even assign an emotional response to it? I can't say that her stance on this pisses me off as I have been on the receiving end of it many times. It just leaves me with a depressing feeling of resignation and a bad taste in my mouth. It leads me to believe that it's not at the top of her priority list to see this with the same importance that I do. Added to that is the annoying feeling that she and her nurse-practitioner think I'm stupid. The reason for that is the ultrasound I had. I was well aware that there would be no little lima bean in there. Again, not stupid. I know what's going on here, I've done this before. I never got a call about the things on my ultrasound, specifically the leftovers of the large cyst and the fluid filling the pelvic cavity. Or the fact that my uterus us crooked in such a way that there is an ovary in the front and one kind of in the back. Such things get my attention. So I left a message for the NP to call me to discuss these things. She left me a message that stated "well, as for the results of your ultrasound, there was no fetus. Sorry for your loss." Click. Well, no kidding Einstein. What about the rest of it? What a dipshit. Sorry, but I can't stand when I get treated like a semi-illiterate teenager on welfare that didn't bother to research my condition. I can read and I know how to find reliable information. Anyway, I've decided to go shopping for a new doctor. I think that this issue is serious enough to warrant a more proactive response so I will search until I find that response. Any criteria my few (but much appreciated) readers may have that will aid me in my search would be fabulous. Hopefully we'll get this licked yet. |
|
posted by The Writer
11:54 AM
|
| |
|
-
Ok, had to put this in as it almost made me pee a little, my good friend said in response to my question "where do they find these stupid people?" about the nurses in these offices "do you suppose there's a supid people farm and they release a bunch of them twice a year?"
Oh I just died laughing!
|
|
| << HOME |
|
|
|
|
|
|
myprofile
|
previouspost |
myarchives |
mylinks |
bloginfo |
|
Ok, had to put this in as it almost made me pee a little, my good friend said in response to my question "where do they find these stupid people?" about the nurses in these offices "do you suppose there's a supid people farm and they release a bunch of them twice a year?"
Oh I just died laughing!