Anyone for Seconds?

Secondary Infertility is the name of the game. Who wants to play? A TTC blog of internal torture.

 

 

 
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Just seconds from lift-off...
So only 4 or so days from my first round of Clomid and I must say, I'm a tad nervous. I've not put anything hormone-altering in my system for years and years and I'm not sure what the side-effects may be. Also, it is now obvious (with the aid of those fabulous microscopes) that I really don't ovulate every month, so that has been confirmed. Or at least confirmed to my satisfaction anyway. All in all, excited because I feel that we are now really getting this show on the road and that all the months and months of trying were really just leading up to this (I know, all the eggs in one basket and blah blah...) and yet trepidatious because this is a really big step.

My spouse hasn't been as opinionated as usual about all this which leads me to believe that he is currently embroiled in a similar, if not identical, inner struggle. My guess is that he is nervous because: "what if the Clomid doesn't work?!" and nervous because: "what if it does?!?!" and I can't really say I blame him. I feel a bit of that as well especially because our first child was a surprise and there comes a point when you realize that is no escape, no other option and all the exits have been cut off. Not that we weren't happy about it, but it seems to be one of the surest and most inexorable journeys one can embark on. The journey that ends in essentially the same place no matter how you get there. It reminds me of that saying "there's no such thing as 'A Little Pregnant'" and how you either are or you're not. No two ways about it. I think it's because you can feel in control of the situation to a point but eventually you realize that you are merely a passenger on this train and there is no getting off until the conductor says so. Or the fat lady sings or whatever your preferred metaphor may be. Especially with pregnancy, your entire sense of self is altered without your permission, your figure is forever changed, the wardrobe sorta sucks and you instantly lose half your brain cells.

Progesterone's a bitch that way.

So, I guess what is going through our minds at the moment is probably normal, I'm sure it is. But a little reassurance from all you lovely ladies in blogland wouldn't be amiss. I'm sure you gals have either had some experience with fertility treatments and/or pregnancy and childbirth/rearing so let me know your thoughts on the subject.

Unless they're grim and depressing, then just hit the "Next Blog" button and thanks for stopping by.

;-D
posted by The Writer 10:52 PM  
 
1 Comments:
  • At 1:17 PM, Blogger Sabrina said…

    You'll be fine! This is one big step in the right direction, and I'm crossing all sorts of body parts that SOON! SOON! you get those 2 pink lines and they stick around for a good 40 weeks.

     
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